When will the narcissist realize what he's done is wrong?

Once you learn more about Narcissism, from having some form of a close relationship with them, you finally reach a turning point and learn that this is not the real question.

As you read into the details and specifics of different people’s experiences here and, even better, some of the self aware and diagnosed Narcissists who write here too, a completely different perspective forms in your mind.

And, the question you really are searching for an answer to becomes, “Why do Narcissists knowingly engage in wrong doing, when they are consciously aware that what they are doing is wrong as well as the hurtful affects those wrong doings will have on someone innocent who just wants to love them, support them, and have a satisfying mental and emotional bond with them?”

Now, why would you want to knowingly inflict suffering on someone who is completely on your side? Why take the risk of irreparably damaging a relationship by recklessly and callously throwing away your entire investment of mental, emotional, physical, and financial resources for no good reason?

You will learn that Narcissists don’t consider or ask questions like that of themselves. If they did, they wouldn’t engage in unthinkable wrong doings so easily, impulsively, and abruptly. The absence of a conscience completely short circuits their desire and ability to weigh questions such as these in their thought life and thought patterns. And their willingness to place wrong doing above anything and everything else is confirmation of that.

That's the disappointing, frustrating, and sad truth about it all. They are never going to think in the same pattern that you do. Take how you think and invert it, pervert it, twist it, bend it, and break it and you can then see things through their eyes. And, then the answer to your original question becomes, they do realize they are wrong and they will never admit that to you because the bigger problem is they just don’t care. There is no force on Earth that will ever change that. It is a hard pill to swallow but once you do accept this then you will be able to move towards healing instead of being stuck at a stand still.