What empowers narcissists?

Narcissists (someone with narcissistic personality disorder) are not able to regulate their self esteem by themselves. They have an idealized self, which differs from their real self. This is true for everyone, but for most people the idealized self is a little different, a little better, a goal to aspire to, slightly above where we are. We have a decent sense of who we are, very likely, if we’re neurotypical.

A narcissist’s idealized self is like an anti self; it’s mind boggling different. For example, a narcissist may view themselves as

• Generous
• Kind
• Helpful
• Honest
• Straightforward
• Has integrity

whereas they are actually

• Greedy
• Cruel
• Obstructive
• Deceitful
• Manipulative
• Passive aggressive hypocrites

Narcissists have a very strong need to have their idealized self validated in order to regulate their self esteem. This is what empowers them.