Are covert narcissists that dangerous?

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Most of the Covert (or Closet) Narcissists that I know are quite pleasant and hard working people. Unlike their Exhibitionist “cousins” who need to portray themselves as perfect and always be the center of admiring attention, Covert Narcissists are usually trying to earn the respect of those they admire by working harder than everyone else.

• Covert Narcissists & Self-Doubt

Covert Narcissists are generally more open about their self-doubt than other types of Narcissists. They also are the only subtype of NPD that tends to fade into the background. They are conflicted about being in the spotlight. My Covert Narcissistic clients talk about how “exposed and vulnerable” they feel when they are the center of attention.

• Are Covert Narcissists Dangerous?

I have never met a dangerous Covert Narcissist. I do not think that they are inherently more dangerous than anyone else. They do, however, often envy other people’s success. As with most people who feel inadequate, inferior, and envious; this can lead some Covert Narcissists to spread unflattering gossip about those they envy.

• Are Covert Narcissists Vindictive?

As all Narcissistic Personality Disorders are essentially characterized by unstable self-esteem, an extreme sensitivity to perceived criticism or slights, and low emotional empathy; virtually all Narcissists can be vindictive if you do something that negatively impacts their self esteem. This, of course, includes Covert Narcissists.

Punchline: I have not found the Covert Narcissists that I know to be particularly dangerous. They are usually more concerned with hiding their own flaws and dealing with their shame than with attacking other people. They can be vindictive if you shame them. This does not mean that a particular individual with a Covert Narcissistic Personality Disorder might not be dangerous and vindictive—just that this is not characteristic of them as a group."